The Kainai Women’s Wellness Lodge opened its doors on October 30, 2009. It is a 10-room facility with 13 beds, located in the heart of the Moses Lake community on the Blood Reserve. Our mission is to guide and empower women to create opportunities that allows them to express or experience wholeness. Our facility’s main purpose is to provide a safe and secure environment that offers a 24-hour crisis line, emergency accommodations, supportive crisis counselling and trauma inform therapist, Elder and cultural support, advocacy and referral, education in family violence and safety, child support programs, and women’s groups.
Kainai Women's Wellness Lodge - How family violence affects children
• What is family violence?
• Effects of family violence on children
• What to do if you suspect abuse
What is family violence?
The term domestic violence has been used for many years and usually refers to the violence that occurs between two people living in a close relationship including spouses, same sex couples, family members or roommates.
It is only relatively recently that it has been recognized that the violence between those two people impacts greatly on other members of the family, household or community- especially children. For this reason we will use the broader term of family violence. Family violence encompasses inter-generational violence and abuse and recognizes all victims. It refers to the harm caused when an individual physically or psychologically tries to dominate or control another family member.
Effects of Family Violence on Children
For some children, life is like living in a war zone! They live in an environment characterized by fear, frustration, anger, cruelty and violence. Research shows that children of all ages are affected if there is violence or abuse between their caregivers and extended family members. Children and young people who experience violence in their families are more likely than . children who have not experienced any form of family violence to:
Develop severe behavioural problems
Become violent as adolescents
Continue the cycle of abuse
There are a number of factors shared by children who have been exposed to domestic violence.
They may display failure to thrive symptoms even as infants.
They may be aggressive or violent towards siblings or the victim parent in ways similar to the abusive parent.
They often suffer from low self-esteem. They often experience academic problems.
They can have a disrupted home life when the victim is forced to flee the home. They are more often abducted by the abuser parent than other children.
They may have a fear and distrust of close relationships.
They don't always recognize socially acceptable or correct behaviour.
They may experience psychosomatic complaints, such as stomach pains, headaches, stuttering and anxiety.
They may wet the bed.
They kill themselves more often than children who do not live with abuse.
They blame themselves for the violence or their inability to stop it and protect the victim parent.
They are more likely to be victim of child physical and sexual abuse, most often by the abuser parent but sometimes by the victim.
They are more likely to abuse alcohol and drugs.
They are more likely to commit sexual acts and other crimes.
Children will be affected in different ways depending on a number of factors including their age, resilience, amount of support from other family members, predictability of the violence. The following is only a guide as to some ways in which the harm may affect them:
Infants
Poor brain development
Poor health and development
Poor sleeping patterns
Cry and scream more than normal
Toddlers
Become very distressed when witnessing violence
Be severely shy, have low self-esteem
Bite, hit, kick, pull other children's hair
Are argumentative
Pre-schoolers
Blame themselves for the violence
Become very distressed
Become very withdrawn
Show verbal and physical aggression
Elementary school children
Begin to learn that violence is a way of resolving conflict.
Have difficulty at school.
Have the highest levels of depression and aggression (especially girls).
Have difficulty concentrating.
Become rebellious.
Become anxious and withdrawn.
Adolescents
Develop other social networks outside of the family.
Regard the victim of the violence as being responsible.
Development and future adult behaviour affected.
Strong possibility of depression (especially girls).
Become aggressive towards victim or other family members (especially boys).
Continue cycle of abuse.
What to do if you suspect abuse
Children who have been harmed need adults to help.
In most communities there are a number of child and family services that offer advice and help to people concerned about a child .and young person and who will provide help to willing families. ·
